O Great Mathematician,
Who numbers the stars,
What makes this world so hard?
To You,
Who counts every grain of sand,
Why so much suffering from Your Hand?
And Calculator of all important things,
hair, lost and gained,
words spoken,
faces, tear-stained —
Can you remind me why this life is so pained?
What is the purpose of these chains?
Because I’ve never been good at mathematics, You know
Incongruent, I understand
Small percentages of survival, I get
But the counting of blessings is lost on me
Giving thanks for numbered days
I can’t speak
Nothing makes sense
The figures don’t add up
And in the equation—
I just want to find the ‘y’
So, could you hold me with two Hands this time?
Will all Three of You be the Comforter to my soul?
When my faith fails, please forgive me seventy x seven—
Will you send 10,000 angels when I walk through temptation?
And when you count Your sheep, please count carefully— if I should happen to be the one instead of the 99, please race toward me— rush after me— please find me!
Find the sum of my fears
Find the total of my tears
Find the heart of wisdom, gained
Because I’ve numbered my days, my years
toward You, aright
And not even one sparrow falls to the ground— that You don’t know.
Amazing God,
You count sparrows too
So please, the One True God
Teach me sparrow’s math
Formulate in me
An infinity of peace
An exponential joy
And love, unequalled
When it gets hard
Please number me among the saints
Based on the Truest Standard
Because I still don’t understand
The ‘y’
My deficits, they are multiplied many times over
Divide Your Word of Truth within me so that it’s greater than...
O Great Mathematician,
Hear my cry.
15 March 2018
1:15am